Leah, Jacob, and I have been part of a triad for 14 years now. Sarah is our girlfriend which all of us have a relationship with, and we are considering for a lifetime partner. If she joins us as a lifetime partner, we would be a quad.
However, Leah and I are having deep issues. Our relationship is in the ICU/Intensive Care Unit. We have been here now for many years. She takes medications for a few diseases. She is also on anti-depressants, and she is bi-polar as well. I know that the stress of my ex has caused a great amout of stress to each of us. However, she has changed drastically. She remains constantly moody and rude even to our children.
She is rude to me on a daily basis, and if she is not rude to me, she absolutely ignores me. She has called me vicious names when she and I have a disagreement, and I do not call names at all because I feel it is non-productive in an argument or period for that matter. All it does is cause harm. In the past, she has actually hit me a few times, but she has not done that in a long time because Jacob told her if she did it again she would need to move out. However, he would still maintain in a relationship with her. This made me very uncomfortable because in the past I came out of a very abusive relationship, and it bothers me that Jacob would retain any form of a relationship with some who has abused me. It feels like betrayal to me, but he says he loves her and knows she is ill and needs our help.
I am at the point that I am no longer willing to put up with her constantly ignoring me or belittling me. I am not happy in my relationship with her, but I am not willing to lose my relationship with Jacob or Sarah. I love Leah, but my self-worth is not willing to take crap from her anymore. If it were only up to me, I would not be with her anymore until she changed, but it is not just my decision.
I feel at a loss as what to do. I have actally thought about ignoring her as well and not engaging in any form of conversation with her. This upset Jacob when I told him of my plans because he feels that it would only cause more harm than good. Why must I constantly think about her well-being at the expense of my own??? Any thoughts?
